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October 1st, 2008

Thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded over the past year

I want to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded over the past year.

I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat wee in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I can no longer buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I’ll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

I can’t even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s x-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

By the way….a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people
with low IQ who don’t have enough sex always read their emails while holding the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

January 17th, 2008

Which Is The Best Mobile Phone?

Mobile phone have become part of our daily lives, thanks to its various functions and services. Which are the best phones in the market… Read the rest of this entry »

January 16th, 2008

Healthy lifestyles and well-being include exercise and diet

Healthy lifestyles and well-being include exercise and diet consciousness, smoking, alcohol consumption and stress management

About nine in 10 people are fit, active and mobile, thanks to improved medical care and lifestyle factors.

Improved expectation of life is principally due to a reduction in death from ischaemic heart disease during the 1970s. Today the afflictions of old age are chronic, degenerative and lifestyle-related. Read the rest of this entry »

January 12th, 2008

Too young to retire

More and more mature Australians are opting to stay in the workforce by establishing successful hobbies and businesses.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 10 per cent of women aged 65 to 69 now choose to remain in the workforce after reaching pension age, and 20 per cent of men aged 65 to 69 are also working.

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January 10th, 2008

Anti-aging, Health And Weight Loss Over 40’s

Five years ago Jon Benson sick, fat and slowly dying. He accidentally stumbled onto a simple secret that not only took off the excess weight and saved him from an early grave, but also exploded his energy and health to levels he never even dreamed possible.

He’s since been “tweaking” and perfecting this amazing health and fitness breakthrough and putting it into a format that YOU can use to get the same type of incredible results yourself Click Here!

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January 7th, 2008

The Raw Food Diet — Secrets That Can Save Your Life

Remember the days when we all ate real food – none of the processed stuff you see everywhere today?

The power of raw foods is not only one of the most well-known “rejuvenation” secrets of celebrities and Hollywood stars (such as Demi Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Sting, Edward Norton, Carol Alt, and many others) it is also a concept that has the potential of giving you what you’re looking for: incredible health, increased energy, and a youthful and slim body.

Read more here

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December 26th, 2007

How to play better golf with less practice time

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If I’ve seen it once I’ve seen it a hundred times golfers practicing on driving ranges with plenty of energy and enthusiasm but little direction.

What is the purpose of practice? If you’re like many people I’ve asked you’ll probably say something like; to get better … or words to that effect. And you’d be right, you do practice to get better but the problem is not the amount of energy you put into practicing but the actual result you’re trying to achieve. Read the rest of this entry »

December 16th, 2007

Golf Shoes For Sale

We’ve found a selection of golf shoes for sale:

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December 16th, 2007

Golf Balls For Sale

We’ve found a selection of Golf Balls for Sale: Read the rest of this entry »

December 16th, 2007

Boat Timeshares – A Unique Vacationing Experience

If you’ve dreamed of sailing the seven seas, but don’t necessarily have the bank account to buy a luxury vessel, don’t despair. There are ways to make that dream happen without breaking your bank.

Boat timeshares offer a unique vacationing experience for almost any budget. By getting involved in a timeshare, you have the right to use that luxury vessel to make your dreams come true, but you alone are not solely responsible for all the expenses. Read the rest of this entry »


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Flowers - A Great Gift for any Occasion