Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
I want to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded over the past year.
I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat wee in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer drink Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I can no longer buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I’ll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.
I can’t even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s x-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.
By the way….a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people
with low IQ who don’t have enough sex always read their emails while holding the mouse.
Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.
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Thursday, January 17th, 2008
Mobile phone have become part of our daily lives, thanks to its various functions and services. Which are the best phones in the market… (more…)
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Wednesday, January 16th, 2008
Healthy lifestyles and well-being include exercise and diet consciousness, smoking, alcohol consumption and stress management
About nine in 10 people are fit, active and mobile, thanks to improved medical care and lifestyle factors.
Improved expectation of life is principally due to a reduction in death from ischaemic heart disease during the 1970s. Today the afflictions of old age are chronic, degenerative and lifestyle-related. (more…)
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Saturday, January 12th, 2008
More and more mature Australians are opting to stay in the workforce by establishing successful hobbies and businesses.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 10 per cent of women aged 65 to 69 now choose to remain in the workforce after reaching pension age, and 20 per cent of men aged 65 to 69 are also working.
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Thursday, January 10th, 2008
Five years ago Jon Benson sick, fat and slowly dying. He accidentally stumbled onto a simple secret that not only took off the excess weight and saved him from an early grave, but also exploded his energy and health to levels he never even dreamed possible.
He’s since been “tweaking” and perfecting this amazing health and fitness breakthrough and putting it into a format that YOU can use to get the same type of incredible results yourself Click Here!
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Monday, January 7th, 2008
Remember the days when we all ate real food - none of the processed stuff you see everywhere today?
The power of raw foods is not only one of the most well-known “rejuvenation” secrets of celebrities and Hollywood stars (such as Demi Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Sting, Edward Norton, Carol Alt, and many others) it is also a concept that has the potential of giving you what you’re looking for: incredible health, increased energy, and a youthful and slim body.
Read more here
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Sunday, December 16th, 2007
If you’ve dreamed of sailing the seven seas, but don’t necessarily have the bank account to buy a luxury vessel, don’t despair. There are ways to make that dream happen without breaking your bank.
Boat timeshares offer a unique vacationing experience for almost any budget. By getting involved in a timeshare, you have the right to use that luxury vessel to make your dreams come true, but you alone are not solely responsible for all the expenses. (more…)
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Thursday, November 8th, 2007
1. If you are considering a mid size power boat make sure it is the correct boat for the type of water you will be boating in. A larger body of water will make a difference on the performance of your boat.
2. Do a careful check of the engine you will be using on the boat. Will it stand up to the use it will be getting?
If you are thinking about buying a diesel engine do some research. Sometimes those boat engines are not as reliable as you would think.
3. The design is important but so is performance. You can achieve both goals if you take the time to ask questions about both issues. Talk to people who own boats and see what their likes and dislikes are.
4. Is the boat comfortable? All boats are not created alike. Try them out and find out which one fits you best.
5. Visit boat shows and discover how you can get the most boat for the money. Remember, however, the dealers are trying to sell their boats.
It might be best to base your boat buying decision on more than just this experience.
6. Boat For Sale: Check out the want-ads in the newspapers where you live. If you have done your research you will have a pretty good idea what you are looking for and what you are willing to pay. Another thing to do before you buy a used boat: get a copy of the boat blue book.
7. Don?t feel the need to buy the first boat you see. Make sure it? the one you really want, that it is of good quality and has the features that are most important to you.
You will be less likely to “rock the boat” if you use education and caution before the purchase of a boat.
About The Author
Jeff Anderson knows his boats. He knows what to look for and what pitfalls to avoid. Let him guide you to finding out more about boats. Contact him at Jeff[@]totallyboats.com or visit the blog at his site www.totallyboats.com.
Boat Timeshares
A Unique Vacationing Experience …. more
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Saturday, October 20th, 2007
Pain and Stress. They seem almost to go hand in hand - not only in their negative connotation, but also in their biological causes and triggers.
Back pain and muscle pain is typically caused by inflammation in the proximity where the pain originated, which in turn creates internal pressure, activating pain receptors in the nerve endings and sending the signal (registered as varying levels of discomfort) to the brain. (more…)
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Saturday, September 8th, 2007
My kid is only 6 months old, yet he has taught me more than I have ever learnt in the last ten years of supposed life”s experience. It is amazing really, that one so young can teach so much, that a ball of squeaking immaturity can give and educate others who are theoretically so much wiser and more learned than an “incy” bit of life that has just popped its head out for a look.
I mean he has taught me nothing startling like quantum physics or rocket science just simple things, an increased awareness of what is around me and a much better understanding of life and how people think and operate as they do! (more…)
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